It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
