pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
