I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
