Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
