3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
