i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
