New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
