sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
