I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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