i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
