I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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