My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
