I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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