I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
