I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
