I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I have fence marks all over my body
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
