We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He told me they were just razor bumps!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
