so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
