Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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