I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My life is pants optional.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
