Buhtt sex?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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