i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
