Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
