you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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