Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
