His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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