Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
