No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
