You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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