this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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