We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
