You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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