Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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