Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
