just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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