I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
