There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
