My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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