We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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