My hair reeks of homosexuality.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
