You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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