Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
