Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
