your parents love me but you hate me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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