Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
