I must be too annoying 4 u.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
