Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
