I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
