wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
