Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
