in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
