C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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