Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
