why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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