He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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