Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
