He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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