Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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