therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize