3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
