oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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